Football Diary: Boing and Buzz the B-words

'BOING, BOING', the crazed chant with the bouncing dance currently pogoing its way from West Brom to clubs like Southend and Derby, has its roots in what Baggies supporter, Steve Murray, terms a 'terrible pop song called Poing' from the Dutch band, Rotterdam Termination Source. This rave record - essentially 'a drumbox at 140bpm with the sound of a spring over it' writes Cheltenham's James McLaren - was a hit in Rotterdam clubs. Feyenoord's hipper fans then transferred the Termination's dance to their terraces.

Duggie 'Boing' Grant, Albion fan and contributor to the fanzine Grorty Dick, is widely credited with bringing the Boing to Britain, having heard the tune on his sister's radio. Under Grant's tender care, Poing became Boing and 'Boing, Boing, Baggies, Baggies' received its national premiere at Orient accompanied by a choreographed movement which came to Grant while kneeling on a coach seat. The chant is now so well established that rival fans respond with 'You only 'boing' when you're winning'. All the Baggies who have written in on the Beauty of Boing stress that the dance can be done in seated or standing areas. Just Boing It.

IF EVERTON really want to bemuse the oppo, they should send on the Australian, Jason Kearton. Neville Southall's talented deputy can play Shane Warne tricks with the ball. Part of Everton's warm-up involves Southall, Kearton and the youngster, Stephen Reeves, bowling footballs at each other. While the two Brits send down straightforward medium-pace deliveries, the flaxen-locked Kearton practises off-breaks and googlies - and can coax a fair amount of turn from the Goodison turf.

THEY might be better than us (Stockholm '92) but those crazy Swedes do love the English game. They admire it so much that Peter Karlsson, a Scandinavian hack who starred in the recent Isles of Scilly derby (one side were short), is writing a book on England's all-time greats. Among the Keegans and Brookings in his Dream Team is Kenny Hibbitt. The supremo of Walsall, currently prospering in the Third Division, was worshipped by the Swedes in the Seventies. Not simply for his elegant midfield performances in Wolves clothing but for his sideburns, which went down a storm in Stockholm.

THE Taylor Report has ruffled a few feathers at Watford, whose smart new seats are used for target practice by pigeons dwelling in the Vicarage Road rafters. In the standing era, these deposits were simply swept away but now desperate measures are called for. To scare away the winged menace, Watford's groundsman took to firing off an air-rifle and employing one of those bang-a-minute machines farmers put in fields. Neither worked, so the Hornets went back to nature and hired a buzzard. The bird, which answers to the inspired name Buzz, has done the trick, marking out its territory once a week and frightening off the pigeons. 'But what the pigeons don't realise,' Watford's Gabriella Lyons explains,'is that Buzz would not know what to do if he caught one of them.'

A SQUAD full of current stage and screen productions: An Inspector Calls (Spurs); Les Miserables (France); Demolition Man (John Fashanu); Men In Tights (Any Serie B side come winter); In The Line Of Fire (Peter Swales); The Firm (Italy's New York Supporters' Club); Three Colours Blue (Sheffield United's away strip); Much Ado About Nothing (Shirt numbering); Hard Boiled (Vinnie Jones); Crazy For You (Karren Brady); Mr Wonderful (Kevin Keegan); The Tempest (Manchester City); Club Of No Regrets (Wimbledon); Indecent Proposal (Fifa's kick-in plans) and, finally, a double bill of The Fugitive and Hot Stuff (Mickey Thomas).

THE bottle of Aberlour Malt for alternative statistic of the week goes to Paul Roberts, of Croydon, for this:

'Robert Fleck has still scored more goals at Stamford Bridge for Norwich City (two goals in three games) than he has for Chelsea (22 games, one goal).'

More malt next week. All freak facts to Football Diary, The Independent, 40 City Road, London EC1Y 2DB.