Martin Crowe: the tortured genius who admitted ‘living a life of illusion’

Former New Zealand captain loses battle with cancer aged 53

Martin Crowe batting against England in a 0ne-day international at Old Trafford in 1986 (Getty)

Martin Crowe, who has died at the age of 53 after a long battle with cancer, was perhaps the most accomplished batsman to come out of New Zealand. But he was much more than that. He was also an innovator, a deep thinker, an obsessive about the minutiae of batting, a true philosopher who agonised about cricket’s soul.

Crowe was as easy on the eye as any great batsman who ever played, standing upright, playing delectably straight, elegant of touch and rigorous of method. Like all the truly great players, it looked easy. It was far from it.

The sense of responsibility he felt to his team, the single-minded pursuit of his own ambition, the craving to achieve his goals took a heavy toll on his psyche. Upon retiring after a glittering career, he came fully to understand what he had been through and what he might have put others through.

In an illuminating interview in 2014 on the CricInfo website (he wrote frequent essays for it which were as stylish as his batting had been) he reflected on the toll that his pursuit of perfection had taken. Asked by the interviewer, the CricInfo editor, Sambit Bal, whether he had been selfish, he was wholly candid.

Class of CroweCareer statistics

TEST CAREER

Debut v Australia, Wellington, February/March 1982

Tests 77 Runs 5,444@45.36

HS 299 100s 17 50s 18

ODI CAREER

Debut v Australia, Auckland, February 1982

ODIs 143 Runs 4,704@38.55

HS 107* 100s 4 50s 34

.

“Yeah, it’s my second name,” he said. “And once that took hold, this obsession and pursuit of goals, everything else came second – family, friends, it all paled into insignificance. When I look back now, I just realise I missed out a lot in my life and I thought I was pleasing everyone.

“I was trying to please my parents and brother and sister. And then I was trying to please society and then the country, by scoring runs. That was my job. To be accepted and to be liked and loved and admired... it wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I had to break every record, and it was all such an illusion. And I lived a life full of illusions.

“I told myself that a 150 was going to assure friendship or love, and that it was going to make me feel good about myself. That’s when the torture and torment began. I didn’t understand till about 50 – when I had cancer – that I had lived a life of illusion, of wanting people to like me through a pursuit. And in the end, at the age of 50, I hated myself and that’s when it was about time I started to accept who I was. So I went on a path of finding out exactly who I was. But for all my cricket career, I was a batsman on a mission with no clue at all.”

Crowe, who died after suffering from lymphoma, scored 5,444 Test runs at an average of 45.36 and another 4,704 in one-day internationals at 38.55. The manner of his scoring the runs was as important as the fact that he scored them.

As New Zealand’s captain he is perhaps best remembered for his role in the 1992 World Cup when he virtually invented pinch-hitting at the top of the order and opened the bowling with a spinner. New Zealand were a revelation but were beaten by Pakistan in the semi-final.

He retired early, worn down by the game’s demands, but continued to be influential. He helped to devise an entertaining new format, Cricket Max, a forerunner of Twenty20, continued to analyse the art of batting and urged a less combative approach. Crowe was diagnosed with lymphoma three years ago but was a prominent presence at last year’s World Cup when New Zealand reached the final for the first time.