It's not cricket: tearful players see dreams turn into a nightmare

While Brian Lara, one of the greatest batsmen in the history of cricket, was compiling a magnificent hundred to ensure that the 2003 cricket World Cup in South Africa started in style, England's 15-man squad were once again locked in a series of stressful and disturbing meetings. The issue is whether England should play their opening game in Zimbabwe and it is becoming more complicated by the day.

Such has been the magnitude of the decision facing Nasser Hussain's side that several of the squad have left meetings emotionally distraught. One member of the squad privately told me that the scenes during these sessions have been unbelievable. Grown men, and not just the youngsters in the side, have been breaking down in tears.

The dream of being selected for this tournament, the biggest event in the game, is becoming a nightmare. The focus of the England team has been on anything but cricket during the past two days. Hour after hour has been spent listening to lawyers, security and administrators. They might as well be speaking a foreign language, so fast will the players' heads be spinning by now.

After the presentations by these advisers, with most questions still unanswered, more time will be spent deliberating. By the time England play their first match, they will know how to jump out of a helicopter or disarm a lunatic with a knife but as for playing a forward defensive – forget it.

They have spent 11 or 12 hours over the weekend working through problems and making decisions that could have catastrophic financial consequences for the game in England. Goodness knows what James Anderson, 20, the rookie fast bowler from Lancashire, must be thinking. A winter in Burnley might be a more attractive proposition in future to travelling around the world with the England Cricket Team.

There is no surprise that, after such trauma, the players do not look like the young fit athletes they are. Unshaven and with bags under their eyes, they would consider a good night's sleep a luxury. Shuffling around the Cullinan Hotel in Cape Town they looked more akin to haunted souls than fresh-faced sportsmen. At times, you feel they wish they were invisible as they nervously slide out for a cigarette or some fresh air.That any one of them could play like Lara today is inconceivable.

Under lawyers' advice, former colleagues of mine, players with whom I have been through trying times, are afraid to look me in the eye or speak to me. This is so they do not say something they shouldn't or give me a clue as to what is happening.

That the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) learnt of "extremely substantial evidence" yesterday as to why the England side should not travel to Harare and play their match on 13 February will not have helped. Trust between Hussain's squad and the ECB was at breaking point before the disclosure that the game's controlling body, the International Cricket Council, has allegedly kept information in the Kroll report away from the ECB when it was trying to get the fixture moved.

Kroll was commissioned by the ICC to make an independent risk assessment of the dangers of playing World Cup games in Kenya and Zimbabwe. Some of its findings were not printed for security reasons, but they were relayed to the ICC. Allegedly, these were only passed on to the ECB yesterday, causing a further delay in the England team's decision.

What has sport become if representing your country and fulfilling a lifetime's ambition comes down to this? It is shameful.