Simon Carr: Ed plays the class card – and restores his flagging reputation

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Thursday 09 December 2010 01:00 GMT
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The added plasticine has worked its magic – Ed Miliband was a hit! No face-fingering, no arm-pumping. He had some new hands too which spread out in front of him in an I'm-really-not-lying gesture. And, blow me down, he landed a counter-punch on the Prime Minister that must have rattled his teeth a bit.

"Rank hypocrisy. Shameless opportunism," Cameron had said. "He's behaving like a student politician and that's all he ever will be."

"I was a student politician," EDM said, "but I didn't spend my time hanging around with people who were wrecking restaurants and throwing bread rolls."

Whatever it looks like on the page it had a wonderful effect on his reputation. He can't be said to have won the questioning – he tripped up a couple of times, and two of his gags didn't really fire, but all that became irrelevant in an instant. He'd bopped the Prime Minister on the nose and his MPs were crazed with excitement and relief, jack-knifing with that laughter they do. Mary Creagh seemed to be auditioning for Second Bedlam Hag. Order papers were waved, the mob raged, their leader was carried aloft on their cheers.

As EDM sat through the rest of the session his triumph was visible. An irrepressible smile kept flickering to the surface. And why not? That roar of approval from your people must be one of the most narcotic pleasures of politics.

Isn't Ed supposed to be fighting for students? Isn't the knockdown blow supposed to be for the voters out there, rather than for oneself, in the theatre in the Commons? Or am I trying too hard to find something to complain about?

If Cameron had been rattled he gave little visible sign of it. His argument is that the Browne review was commissioned by Labour and featured in the manifesto written by EDM himself. That's pretty solid, as arguments here go.

Kerry McCarthy asked him a pert little question about The Smiths (who recently banned Cameron from liking them). The PM was able to come up immediately with a couple song titles. "I probably wouldn't get 'This Charming Man'," he said, in that charming way he has.

Then he dispatched Jack Dromey's much-interrupted question with the words, "He has the unique qualification of being selected on an all-woman shortlist – next time he comes in he should dress properly."

They all had a lovely time laughing at Anna Soubry and Nigel Dodds, pointing, shouting and misbehaving, laughing and rough housing. What fun it must be, to be an MP during a time of grave national dilemma!

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