Berlusconi's trash TV is here to stay

Even a 'no' vote in tomorrow's media-ownership poll will not alter Italy's tacky tastes, writes Andrew Gumbel in Rome

If Silvio Berlusconi loses control of his private television channels after tomorrow's referendums on media ownership, it will not necessarily mean the end of the peculiar small-screen spectacle of cheesy game-shows, semi-naked women and outrageous stunts that he has created over the past 15 years.

But if potential buyers have been watching any of his three national channels recently, their eyes will almost certainly be popping out of their heads.

Mr Berlusconi's Fininvest company produces what must be some of the weirdest and most shameless television in the world, a sort of virtual reality where no woman has less than a 36-inch chest, no man is allowed to smile less than Terry Wogan at his most exuberant, where clothes look like they are on hallucinogenic drugs, and where a washing powder can send presenters into paroxysms of ecstasy as long as the promotion fee is high enough.

And all this is not to talk about the news, where anchormen make unabashed political statements on behalf of their revered boss in between advertising breaks in which they themselves sometimes participate.

To be fair, in between there are plenty of high-profile feature films and the occasional serious discussion. But the real soul of Fininvest is to be found in programmes such as Buona Domenica, a Sunday extravaganza in which the presenters dress like Darth Vader and Mr Spock and dance along with gay abandon to the studio band.

Buona Domenica earned notoriety earlier this year for featuring an illusionist who conned viewers into thinking he was playing Russian roulette. Other presenters include a stuntwoman who has walked over burning coals and allowed herself to be raised in a car by a crane and dropped from a great height on a pile of other cars.

Another hit from the past two years has been Stranamore, which means "Strangelove", a programme dedicated to bringing estranged couples back together by any - and I mean any - means necessary. Participants spill out their hearts' secrets straight to the camera and then wait nervously in the studio to see if their lost love walks through the door to rejoin them.

One hapless young man called Massimiliano thought all was lost recently when his ex-girlfriend Isabella turned up arm-in-arm with another man. The camera closed in on his deathly white face as she said: "I'm sorry, this was the only way to make you understand.'' A few seconds later she burst out laughing, explained that her escort was an actor helping her to play a practical joke, then threw herself at Massimiliano and began ripping his clothes off on the studio couch. The audience screamed with pleasure as the show's theme tune, the Beatles' "All You Need is Love", accompanied a rapid fade-out.

Stranamore has a daytime counterpart called Perdonami (Forgive Me), in which relatives who have fallen out beg each other to kiss and make up. One show featured a husband asking his wife's forgiveness after he let his love of Westerns get the better of him and wrecked the family's front room in a failed attempt to convert it into an Old West saloon bar.

By now the Berlusconi style has become so familiar that it has had a strong impact on his competitors at the state broadcaster, RAI. If Buona Domenica looks outrageous, consider its counterpart on RAI 1, called Domenica In. The RAI's in-house hypnotist, Giucas Casella, has beguiled rabbits on air, had himself locked into a Plexiglass coffin and submerged in water for half an hour, and - most notoriously - entranced a model into thinking she was a striptease artist and got her to remove her clothes on camera.

Whatever the future of Mr Berlusconi's empire, some things look set to stay. He has, for example, introduced viewers irredeemably to the cult of the breast. The female chest is by all accounts a passion of his; he fell in love with his well-endowed second wife after seeing her perform topless in a trial for one of his television programmes.

Big breasts now pop up regularly on the news, on chat shows and on satirical programmes. They even featured on a Right to Reply programme the other day in which the Independent also took part. The busty woman in question, wearing a gold lame body-suit, was defending her wish to sacrifice her virginity to Gianfranco Fini, the leader of the far-right National Alliance party. The camera never once wavered from her midriff. No wonder Italy's legislators on broadcasting sometimes seem a touch distracted.