Bereaved mother to be honoured for her drive to help other grieving parents

Julie Flaherty campaigned for the Children’s Funeral Fund to be extended to Northern Ireland.

Julie Flaherty campaigned for the Children’s Funeral Fund to be extended to Northern Ireland (handout photo/PA)

A Co Armagh woman who was driven to campaign for financial support for grieving parents by the loss of her son has described an honour from the King as sent by him.

Julie Flaherty will be awarded the Medal of the Order of the British Empire by Charles in recognition of her work to get the Children’s Funeral Fund extended to Northern Ireland.

She started her campaign after losing her only son Jake at the age of two in May 2013.

He had been born with Down syndrome and also battled other medical issues, including a congenital heart defect.

My arms are still empty and there are many arms in many houses which are also empty

Julie Flaherty

Ms Flaherty was struck by the impact that the cost of a funeral can have on bereaved parents amid their grief.

With the help of her party colleagues in the UUP, she got councils across Northern Ireland to agree to measures such as waiving burial fees for grieving parents before helping to bring the UK Children’s Funeral Fund to Northern Ireland.

The fund came into effect last June, offering a one-off lump sum payment of £3,056 for families on the death of either a child under the age of 18 or a stillbirth after 24 weeks.

Ms Flaherty admitted she broke into tears when notified she would be recognised in the King’s Birthday Honours for her efforts, which came amid the local government elections as she ran to be re-elected to Armagh, Banbridge and Craigavon Council.

“It really affected me, Jake would have been 12 on May 19, which was the election count, and it was the tenth anniversary of his death on May 21,” she said.

“The Children’s Funeral Fund was something I just knew I had to do, it’s hard to explain, I’ve been asked before and can never explain it.

“To see it implemented was quite something, but it was never for me. None of it was for me. It was always for the next mummy and daddy.

“I feel with this, it’s not just for me either, it’s for all those other mummies and daddies and families who are going through it, and those who don’t even know they are going to go through it. It’s there for them.

“It’s lovely the work is being recognised, but it’s been hard, emotional work.

“My arms are still empty and there are many arms in many houses which are also empty.

“I knew it was the right thing to do, I know from letters and mothers that have stopped me, and families that have written to me that I keep private between them and me, I know it has helped families and that makes it worthwhile.”

Ms Flaherty said she was used to being her son’s voice and continues to be.

“Jake was very, very poorly, we were lucky to have him as long as we did, I had to be his eyes and his ears and his voice because he didn’t have it himself,” she said.

“I still feel that and will always be his voice. To my dying day, I will never get over what happened. I don’t want to get over it, I don’t want to forget and I have to put that energy, grief and anger into this.

“So this (honour) is just the most marvellous thing he could have sent. It has lifted a wee cloud at this particular time.”