Domestic abuse survivor jailed for killing abusive husband says he raped her many times during marriage

‘I just felt totally humiliated. It was something that I found very difficult to forget. I was always nervous. He would continue to do that through our marriage,’ says Sally Challen

A domestic abuse survivor imprisoned for killing her abusive husband after decades of coercive control has said he raped her many times during their marriage.

Sally Challen, who spent nearly a decade in jail, was found guilty of murdering Richard in a hammer attack in Surrey and jailed for life in 2011.

The 65-year-old, who made legal history with her case, walked free in June after an appeal that gained the backing of MPs from all sides and saw her murder charge reduced to manslaughter.

Ms Challen, a mother-of-two from Claygate, Surrey, has now said the recurrent incidents of rape she was subjected to during her 31-year-long marriage left her permanently nervous.

“There was an incident when we went to America as a family to stay with an old friend and his wife,” she told BBC Two’s Victoria Derbyshire show.

“We had all been out that evening. The friend grabbed me and kissed me. Richard walked around the corner, grabbed me, took me into the bedroom and raped me. I couldn’t cry out because the boys were next door. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t sleep all night.

“That was the time where I first tried to divorce him but failed. I just felt totally humiliated. It was something that I found very difficult to forget. I was always nervous. He would continue to do that through our marriage. If I didn’t want to go to bed with him, he would make me.”

Ms Challen said her husband had affairs, dictated who she was able to be friends with and controlled her finances.

Sally Challen and husband Richard (James and David Challen)

She added: “I was expected to do everything. I cooked. I cleaned. I washed. He controlled my friends. He made it very difficult for me to get close to anyone. He didn’t want anyone coming round. When we got married, he took my salary and would pay me a weekly allowance, which never seemed to change.”

Ms Challen recalled the day of his death in the interview – explaining she had become distressed after dialling 1471 and recognising the phone number of a “woman who he was seeing”.

She said: “I gave him his food. I asked him if I was going to see him the following day. He said: ‘Don’t question me, don’t question me’. And what happened, happened. I have no recollection of putting anything in my handbag but I admit it must have been there. I struck him with a hammer. Everything is a blur really and I just can’t understand how I could have done something like that. It’s not in my nature to do anything like that.

“It was as if it wasn’t me doing any of this. I loved Richard and I wanted to be with him and I killed the man I loved. I’m very sorry for what happened. I should have been a stronger person. I should have left him earlier but I just couldn’t. He had made me so dependent on him.”

Ms Challen was able to appeal her murder conviction after the law changed in 2015 to recognise psychological manipulation, or coercive control, as a form of domestic abuse.

David, her 31-year-old son, previously told The Independent that his father frequently had affairs and visited brothels, but persistently lied about this to his mother, forcing her into questioning her own sanity.

He said the former car dealer also forcibly isolated his wife from her relatives and friends, controlling where she went, what she did and even what she ate.

Ms Challen’s original trial heard the couple, who separated in 2009, were trying to reconcile in August 2010 when the attacked took place in their former marital home in Claygate.

She then drove 70 miles to Beachy Head in East Sussex where she admitted to chaplains attempting to persuade her away from the cliff edge that she had killed her husband.

In her car was a note that read: “Richard said he would take me back if I signed a postnuptial agreement. I said I would and we both saw solicitors yesterday. I then found out he was seeing someone and sleeping with them and had no intention of taking me back. It was all a game so he could get everything.”

Anyone who requires help or support can contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline which is open 24/7 365 days per year on 0808 2000 247 or via their website www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk