What it's like to be an adult film actor and a parent

Managing a porn career and parenthood can be a 'seriously tricky business'

Aurora Snow, a former adult actress, writer and columnist (Getty Images)

Despite their work being legal and watched by millions around the world, adult actors endure shaming from all corners on a daily basis. While it is now increasingly acceptable to consume porn, working within it remains heavily taboo.

Once in the industry, trying to negate the prevailing stigma towards sex work means leaving to enter another career can prove to be an incredibly difficult task.

But some performers spend decades in adult film, becoming celebrities within the industry, winning awards and amassing huge fan bases. Actresses such as Lisa Ann and Jessica Drake have appeared in adult films for 20 and 15 years respectively, and both have enjoyed success outside of the industry.

Rejecting shame was something Drake quickly taught herself to do and secured mainstream acting and modelling as a result. “We are doing ourselves a tremendous disservice when we are shaming ourselves and when we think that we don’t have a place in other areas because of the stigma," she told the Independent in a recent interview. "I got to a point where I stopped being apologetic for my job. I don’t apologise for what I do for a living. I’m not going to let the fact that I have sex on camera inhibit my drive to do other things in other places. I just won’t do it.“

There is another area, though, where actresses, especially those who choose to make a career out of porn, may feel particularly shamed or discriminated because of their occupation: motherhood. Many 'coming out' accounts focus on the moment porn stars tell their parents about their work; few consider how this conversation would happen the other way around. While being honest about porn work can be tough with parents and siblings, addressing a porn career can be monumentally harder when it comes to a child, with actors often racing to get to them before the internet does. In an essay for the Daily Beast which is now being reshared, Aurora Snow, a former adult actress, spoke to other actresses to outline all the ways in which being a mother and performer is "a seriously tricky business".

The first conundrum is how much information to disclose. “Parents in adult entertainment are faced with having to build a wall that separates their work and home lives," says Snow. "More secrets, less conversation.”

This was an issue experienced by Long Jeanne Silver, an actress who appeared in films in the 70s after having her leg amputated, said her daughter became aware of her past work after finding a picture of her on the internet. "She called me and said, ‘Mom, have you ever heard of Long Jeanne Silver?’ I hung up the phone. Then I called her back and said, ‘Let’s discuss this.’”

The second challenge for a parent and performer is the reaction from those in the community who can’t reconcile the concept of an overtly sexual woman who is equally maternal and loving. In the same essay, Alana Evans, an adult actress who has spent two decades in porn whilst raising a family, recalled how she was even banned from going to the school grounds where her stepdaughter studied after teachers became aware of the nature of her work.

Evans also spoke to Dr Drew in 2012 about her only motivation for going into porn: being able to support her son financially after escaping from an abusive relationship. That she was appearing in a segment asking if a porn star could actually be a good mother is sadly indicative of the attitudes towards female performers.

“The fact that I used my body to make my living caused my son to have more respect for me because it meant that it didn’t matter what I did to myself, I would do it for him," said Evans.

“He came home and said, ‘Ok Mom, they asked me in football practice if you do porn’ and my concern was, ‘what did you say?’ And he said, ‘I said yes, and no-one had a problem with it.’”

Savanna Samson rapidily grew famous within the industry and by 2012 had appeared in over 80 adult films. Her success has ensured she is financially secure and can provide a comfortable life for her teenage son, who was born at the height of her career. ”Everything that I've done in my life, all the choices I've made, will one day benefit him instead of being a shameful thing for him," she told ABC.

However, she has one major concern: the digital footprint her work leaves behind.

Samson now has her own range of wines and has appeared in mainstream TV (Getty Images ) (Getty Images)

“I've been trying to knock down all the smut and all the nudity when you Google me that comes up. It's not just about me but it's about Luchino and his friends. I still would be devastated if he saw this stuff on the internet.”

Snow claims one of the biggest issues for her is a feeling of hypocrisy at the thought of teaching her child that sex is intimate and private. “As a mommy, I didn't feel I could ever explain away the hypocrisy of my feelings. Now here I am, a retired porn star, in a loving, monogamous relationship and with a toddler of my own. I'm still debating how to have those conversations later in life.” She tackled the issue of addressing her career to her son when he is old enough to use the internet and find out by posting an open letter to him explaining her choices before his birth.

In a 2012 interview, Stormy Daniels said she did two years worth of work in one to be able to have the time off to have a child. Daniels, who is a contract performer with Wicked Pictures, returned to porn after maternity leave and organises shoots around childcare. When asked what she would say to her child when she is old enough to ask what her mother does, she was more confident about what her answer would be. “I’ll tell her Mommy has a job that some people don’t approve of, but Mommy’s proud of it and it’s for adults.”