The Feral Beast

'Today' pulls the plug on its online critics

The BBC is to axe the 'Today' programme's popular online message board in what appears to be an attempt to silence its strongest critics. The announcement that after this month listeners can no longer debate the news as delivered by the likes of Sarah Montague has prompted a furious response from regular users. "The closure of this board is nothing more, nor less, than naked, unapologetic censorship," says one. The Beeb says the change is part of a website revamp and that listeners will be encouraged to use the main Have Your Say forum instead. Forums are credited with boosting online traffic on all the BBC sites, but for Radio 4 it would appear to be the wrong sort of traffic.

Born-again Bertie

Is Jason Cowley the Bertie Wooster 'de nos jours'? The new 'New Statesman' editor has upset Sigrid Rausing, the Aunt Dahlia in his life, by leaving 'Granta' so soon after she made him editor. And in 2006 he found himself in a Woosterish scrape at a football match in Germany: "It was hot and I was late; let us say a robust discussion followed be-tween me and a steward ... He was wearing a baseball cap, which I could not resist knocking from his head. I was soon in the agreeable company of the German military." What next? Missing cow creamers at the Staggers?

Watch the pressure rise

Mirror Group supremo Sly Bailey turned up on Tuesday at the Lords Communications Committee – to declare the 'Daily Mirror' would support Labour at the next election – wearing a huge watch. "The sort of thing Buster Crabbe might have worn when deep-sea diving," says an onlooker. Given her titles' sales figures, it may be no bad thing to have pressure-resistant equipment.

Water cheek!

Even Associated Newspapers has been hit by the credit crunch, it seems. Staff at Derry Street were horrified to find notices announcing whopping canteen price hikes last week, allegedly reflecting the global rise in the cost of food. "It's a joke. A litre of water, which costs just 50p in over-priced M&S, cost 94p downstairs!" fumes one thirsty staffer. The timing is unfortunate: last week Daily Mail and General Trust announced a pre-tax profit rise of 7 per cent.

Scraping the celeb barrel

Gossip columnists can usually squeeze a few lines out of even the tawdriest PR bash, but hacks at a London party for a green lifestyle campaign were stumped when the celebs turned out to be lookalikes. "There were the Beckhams, Rod Stewart and what could have been either Donatella Versace or Caprice – except of course they weren't," says one attendee. A 'Star' journo was overheard complaining: "These celebs are so rubbish, even we can't get a story out of it."

Forgiving Lorna slips into Eamonn's seat

No sign of Sky News anchor Eamonn Holmes on his morning show the day after the big match on Wednesday. No surprise there, perhaps – a Sky spokesman says the Man Utd fanatic took a couple of days off to watch the game. But it was intriguing to see Lorna Dunkley standing in for him. Dunkley used to be Holmes's co-host until last year, when she was moved to "strengthen further the weekend presenting line-up", leaving Eamonn as top dog. Dunkley, who has just returned from maternity leave, must still be flowing with loving hormones to step into the breach.

A chip off the old block?

A snap of Liam Gallagher's son Gene giving the v-sign appeared in most papers last week. But why wasn't his face pixillated, as the wee bairn is only six? A spokesman for Rex Features, which sold the shot, says decisions of this sort are made "on an ad hoc basis" and that it has yet to receive a letter from Liam's lawyers. He went on to describe the lad in colourful terms, which anyone who has seen the picture would probably agree with.

Crossover culture

The BBC's prime-time arts programme, 'The Culture Show', is to broadcast on alternate weeks from London and Glasgow. The announcement comes as ITV faces fines for failing to fulfil its duty to produce 50 per cent of its programmes outside the M25. But the half-and-half decision is an odd one – on Scottish weeks, will only Scottish culture vultures appear, or will the Beeb fly London guests up to Glasgow?

A sorry state of affairs at 'The Times'

A good week for corrections. 'The Times' ran an apology on Friday for having "incorrectly suggested that David Gest (right) had been given herpes by Liza Minnelli on their wedding night." We're told this is "entirely wrong. David Gest has never had the disease". Phew! Elsewhere, BBC Breakfast editor Alison Ford apologised for having "reported that a Ukrainian manufacturer was producing dolls of Adolf Hitler", when it turns out they are made in Taiwan.