I am growing up, says tearful Merson

Paul Merson, the Arsenal and England footballer who confessed two months ago to being addicted to alcohol, cocaine and gambling, broke down in tears yesterday when he made an emotional return to public life.

Merson was speaking at a press conference organised by the Football Association following his discharge from a residential clinic where he has been treated for his addictions. He has been given permission by the FA to resume training but must wait another month before discovering when - or if - he will be allowed to play again.

Soberly dressed but looking pale and nervous, Merson, 26, was initially composed as he said: "This has been the hardest six weeks of my life. It has changed me completely. I am starting to grow up now."

But then, after being asked to describe the treatment, he bowed his head and began crying. As George Graham, the Arsenal manager, put a protective arm around him, reporters were asked to direct questions to FA officials instead.

Once Merson had recovered he added, in a faltering voice: "My life was going nowhere. I now have a choice - I either go back to the booze, the gambling and the drugs or I go the other way. I am an alcoholic. I can never take another drink. It is hard to explain but alcoholics will understand.''

Merson said he would now have to go to Alcoholics Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous.

Life, as he said several times, would now be lived under the AA maxim: "One day at a time."

Double signing, page 48