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Bike thief victim gets own back on thief with hilarious letter that tells him 'I know where you live'

The victim uses the letter to tell the thief that he was caught on CCTV and that the stolen bicycle had a tracker installed in it

Jack Simpson
Sunday 10 August 2014 13:28 BST
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The writer politely signs the letter off with, "Have a good day! Sincerely, the student who has no money, but a working printer”
The writer politely signs the letter off with, "Have a good day! Sincerely, the student who has no money, but a working printer” (Twitter/@blazefeed)

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A self-proclaimed “poor student” who was victim of a bicycle theft, got his own back in the most hilarious way after writing a letter to the thief asking him to hand the bike back or get a visit from “her Majesty's finest”.

In a Twitter post on 9 August from Bike tech company Blaze, it pictures a letter attached to the cycle stand where the bike had been taken with heading, “DEAR DOUCHEBAG THIEF”.

In the proceeding rant, the theft victim makes the thief aware that not only was his face caught by CCTV cameras, but also that the bike had a special tracking system installed in it, meaning that the police knew the address where the bike was being held.

In the letter he wrote: “I put a tracer inside the bike frame. So unfortunately for you, I know where you live. Please dear bike thief, don't take this as a threat, I'm sure you had your reasons, I just want my bike back.”

Keen not to get the police involved straight away, he offers the thief an ultimatum, saying that if the bike was returned by the end of the week, “that would be the end of it”.

He then politely signs the letter off with Have a good day! Sincerely, the student who has no money, but a working printer”.

The Letter...

DEAR DOUCHEBAG BIKE THIEF

Fantastic! I've grabbed your attention

Hi there! You stole my bike last night, admittedly I was kind of ticked off about this, but less so when I realised that you left your face on camera at the station. And also you may have not realised but this is not the first bike I've had stolen, so I put a tracer inside the bike frame. So unfortunately for you, I know where you live. Please dear bike thief, don't take this as a threat, I'm sure you had your reasons, I just want my bike back.

All I am asking is if you return the bike before the end of the week, that will be the end of it. If not: You'll be getting a visit by our Majesty's finest.

In case you've taken more than one bike, mine was the grey Giant.

Have a good day!

Sincerely, the poor student with no money, but a working printer

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