why are they famous? dannii minogue

Main Claim: Kylie Minogue's younger sister. A theory more likely to irritate our subject could hardly be predicated, but, let's face it, cool customer Kylie is La Minogue. Dannii, after floundering about horribly in the hit parade's shallows, has suddenly emerged with a new single, a new body, a forthcoming album, and a starring role in the New Taste Diet Pepsi ad. Welcome to Britain, er, Dannii.

Appearance: Teletubby Kylie. Cartoon Kylie. Kylie lookee-likee.

Sister Act: While Kyles has made the almost unprecedented metamorphosis from bubble-permed nafferie to genuine crop-headed cool, with her wasted gamine icon status, sexy boyfriends and sense of irony, the package that is Dannii smacks of desperation, silicone, and the me-me-me screams of the frantic-to-be- famous. Whistle one Dannii ditty. Then whistle I Should Be So Lucky. Now make yourself stop.

Boy Toys: Dannii, 25, has publicly ached over the demise of her 17-month marriage to simmeringly handsome soap star Julian McMahon. "My marriage will stay with me forever," she says. Now she's dating New York-based photographer Steve Shaw.

Wizards of Oz: Let's face it, trendy old London is full of irritating Ozzies who think it's cool to live here - see Jason Donovan, Kylie, and now Home & Away's Isla Fisher. They never lose their dreadful accents or shed their essential small town lack of hip, but they do cop roles in pantos and behave Lycra-and-lager-lout style in trendy clubs.

Past Form: Never forget that Dannii was famous first then Kylie came along and spoiled all the fun. OK, OK, she may have had a role in Young Talent Time when she was virtually a toddler and called plain-old "Danielle", but obscure Antipodean broadcasts count for very little in this world. Kylie is the original diminutive long-toothed Ozzie singing-and-soaping sensation, Neighbours' Charlene to Dannii's mere Emma of Home & Away.

Plastic Fantastic: Dannii, 5ft 2ins, has changed in a few brief years from a raven-tressed balloon face with a chubby hooter to a slender blonde with narrow nose and large breasts. "I don't have a problem with surgery," she says. Dannii recently posed in that internationally prestigious organ Australian Playboy.

Fame Prospects: Dannii displays the determined camera-happy grin and glittering eyes of the ferociously ambitious. Expect further reinvention, body modification and a few more careers, including a spot as agony aunt for Australia's Woman's Day and the odd pet food ad.