Man defended after argument with girlfriend over his wedding guest outfit

‘It appears that everybody but your girlfriend is fine with you wearing a kilt’

A man has been defended after he got into an argument with his girlfriend over his outfit for a wedding.

In a recent post shared in the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, the wedding guest asked if he was in the wrong for “threatening to not take [his] girlfriend” as a plus one to the event due to a “wardrobe disagreement”. He went on to note that his friends, whose real names he didn’t give but he referred to as Kate and Max, sent out a wedding invitation with “loose guidelines for attire”.

He emphasised that while there wasn’t “a strict dress code,” men were asked to wear a suit and tie. The Reddit user added that since he often wears a kilt with a “Prince Charlie or Braemar jacket and waistcoat” when “wearing formal attire,” he asked the bride if that was appropriate. However, before he received an answer to the request, his girlfriend – who he referred to under the fake name Sara – explained why he shouldn’t wear the outfit.

“Sara told me that I absolutely cannot wear my kilt because it wouldn’t be appropriate for formal attire, mind you she has seen me in my kilt and PC for other formal events,” he wrote. “But she said that she would leave it if the bride said it was okay.”

According to the wedding guest, the bride later told him that it was a “great” idea for him to wear the kilt since the groom and other guests would be wearing one. He added that his girlfriend still told him not to wear the kilt since he “won’t be at the wedding party”. However, he then pointed out to her that the bride “explicitly said that she already knew some guests would be wearing kilts’’.

Things took a turn when the groom said that Sara asked him to tell her boyfriend that he could not wear the kilt. The groom then explained how he felt uncomfortable by this request, before the Reddit user discussed how his girlfriend ultimately felt about the outfit.

“[The groom] was weirded out because he knew that I would ask to wear my kilt and thought it was strange for her to ask him about it,” he wrote. “I was kind of hurt and when I asked why she asked Max to tell me not to wear a kilt she said that she thought it was the only way to get me not to embarrass her.”

He went on to explain that he somewhat understood why his girlfriend was embarrassed, noting that he “sometimes gets stares when [he’s] wearing a kilt in public, and [he] knows that she is introverted”. He went on to describe some of his partner’s previous thoughts about kilts, before revealing that he had concerns about attending the wedding with her.

“She also comes from a pretty conservative background and when we first met she hadn’t really encountered kilts before and she has had some misgivings about me wearing them in the past,” he concluded. “I admit I got kind of mad and told her that I didn’t have to bring her as my plus one, because I was the one who was invited.”

The Reddit post has quickly gone viral, with more than 6,300 upvotes. In the comments, many people have defended the Reddit user’s idea of attending the wedding without his girlfriend, while criticising her for reaching out to the groom about the kilt.

AITA for threatening to not take my girlfriend as my +1 to a friend’s wedding over a wardrobe disagreement?
byu/wilted_kilt inAmItheAsshole

“It appears that everybody but your girlfriend is fine with you wearing a kilt,” one wrote. “Leaving her behind for this wedding would clearly be a kindness so that she can avoid being embarrassed. It’s far less drastic than her pressuring the groom to forbid you from wearing a kilt. I would consider this kind of extreme attempt at controlling you to be a red flag.”

“To me, the worst is that she is a plus one and asked the groom to tell his friend not to wear traditional garb that the groom himself is wearing. She wouldn’t be invited if the [OP] wasn’t taking her but thought it was appropriate to demand that he not be allowed to wear his kilt,” another wrote.

“She asked you to your face and in an attempt to get her own way, she went around behind your back to try to get the outcome she wanted. You already said no. She didn’t like that. Her reaction is telling, dude. Listen to her telling you who she is,” a third commented.

Many people went on to praise kilts as wedding outfits and acknowledge how their family members have worn them to formal events as well.

“My husband is a kilt everyday guy. He has casual kilts around the house, but I love going out with him, as he ALWAYS gets compliments from men and women. I find that amazing because men don’t often comment on other men’s clothes. I’m also not the jealous type, and enjoy my hubs being admired by other ladies,” one wrote. “If your girlfriend is embarrassed by the kilt, she needs to get over herself.”