Richard Coles says he lied to church and media about celibacy

Former Church of England vicar maintained that he and late husband David Oldham abstained from sex

Richard Coles has admitted to lying to church officials about his sex life while married to his late husband.

The writer, broadcaster and Church of England clergyman is one of Britain’s most recognisable vicars and one of the highest-profile gay religious practitioners in the world.

His late husband, David Oldham, was an Anglican priest. After they began a relationship in 2007, Coles and Oldham entered a civil partnership in 2010 and remained together until Oldham’s death in December 2019.

During their partnership, Coles, 61, maintained that he and Oldham cohabitated on the basis that they didn’t have sex, as Church of England priests are required to practice celibacy.

In a new interview with The Times, Coles indicated that this was untrue, and that he and Oldham lied to continue in their positions in the church.

When journalist Andrew Billen notes that it would have annoyed and upset him to lie about his life in this way, Coles replied: “It wears off pretty quickly... I mean, I felt sometimes like I was in the resistance and they were the Gestapo.

“I mean, I’m overstating it, but what I did feel is that they had no moral cause, so I didn’t feel that I had a moral obligation at all.

“And I’m not the first person to find themselves obliged to lie for institutional reasons in the Church of England,” he added.

The Independent has contacted Coles for additional comment.

David Oldham, left, and Richard Coles were together from 2007 until the former’s death in 2019 (Richard Coles)

As recently as 2020, Coles referred to his relationship with Oldham as being celibate. Speaking to The Guardian of their civil partnership, shortly after Oldham’s death of alcoholism, he said: “It’s just ridiculous but it’s where we are. It kind of worked and it was OK for us, it sort of suited our lives. But I minded having to [be celibate].”

Coles also previously stated that they’d planned to marry after both had retired. Same-sex marriage is not permitted in the Church of England, and could have resulted in both losing their abilities to work as priests.

Coles retired as vicar of Finedon, North Northamptonshire, in 2022 due to his belief that the organisation was excluding gay couples, and his disapproval of what he described as its “conservative, punchy and fundamentalist” direction.

He has been in a relationship with the actor Richard Cant since 2023. According to Coles, Cant’s lack of religious beliefs does not pose an issue in their relationship.

“We went to midnight Mass together this Christmas and he likes the theatre of it because that’s what he does,” he explained to The Times. “He’s not a religious person at all but he’s a very respectful person.”

Coles left his BBC Radio 4 show in 2023 and admitted to feeling frustrated at the “rushed” nature of his departure.