My son is not yet tainted by the scourge of private school envy

Beguiled by a new playground at the nearby prep school, Will Gore glimpses a return of childish innocence

Dulwich College boys’ school: prestigious alumni include Sir Ernest Shackleton, PG Wodehouse and Raymond Chandler (Getty)

Children in the leafy provinces of middle England perhaps retain their innocence longer than many others in the world. Even so, in the end it goes, bit by bit. First, they give up Bluey and start watching gamers on YouTube. Then they ask awkward questions about what sex means. And by the time they answer every enquiry about their day with the words “your momma!”, the battle is over.

My son, at eight and a half, has reached that sad stage. Where once he would tell me he loved me “so much!”, now he will stare at me dead-eyed and mutter “I hate you”, before running off with a high-pitched laugh.

But in between the bravado and the banter, the posturing and the pushing, there is still an occasional glimpse of that sweet wholesomeness that is gradually worn away by the reality of our peculiar world.