The most common regrets of the dying, according to a palliative care nurse
Most patients value family and friends far more than money or success
Your support helps us to tell the story
From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.
At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.
The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.
Your support makes all the difference.A palliative care nurse has revealed the most common regrets from her patients.
In her book "Top 5 Regrets of the Dying", Bronnie Ware says she found that nearly all of her patients were more concerned with the relationships they had built with others and being truly happy than they were with money, fame or success.
Ware says: "People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance to them... It all comes down to love and relationships in the end."
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret - people whose lives are almost over will often pay attention to what they failed to do in the time they had.
Ware found that most people had not realised even half of their dreams, and knew that it was because of choices they'd made.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
Every male patient had this regret. They felt they had spent less quality time with their families - missing their children growing up, and not spending enough time with their partners.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many patients felt that they had repressed their feelings in order to keep the peace with others. Ware said that many had developed illnesses relating to the resentment they felt as a result of hiding their true feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
It can be hard to keep in touch with old friends when life gets in the way, and it is not uncommon to forget people as you go about your everyday routine.
Dying patients didn't truly realise how much they valued their friends until it was too late, by which point they had lost contact and it was not possible to track down old friends.
5. I wish I had let myself be happier.
Many did not realise until they were dying that happiness is a choice you make, Ware found. Fear of change, pleasing others and the general habits and patterns they formed in life had prevented them from true happiness.
Ware says: "When you're on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. LIfe is a choice. It is your life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, and choose honestly. Choose happiness."
Youtubers Greg and Mitch from ASAP Thought discuss the five regrets in the video above.
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments