The life lessons men should learn before they reach 30

“Trying five per cent harder than your co-workers and being charismatic can be a nonstop train to success”

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For a lot of people, their 20s are are a time of freedom and fun, but also insecurity. And sometimes you don’t realise what you’ve learnt until you look back - it’s a wonderful thing, hindsight.

You might feel like you're flailing, but it’s important to remember you’re meant to be still figuring things out.

Men have taken to Reddit to reveal the life lessons they learned in their 20s, as well as offer some advice and comfort to those of us struggling through our third decade of life.

One of the most important pearls of wisdom to take on board is: “Happiness doesn't hinge on others nearly as much as people expect.”

And another commonly-cited lesson learned was that there’s no one metric of success that fits everyone: “I used to freak out that everyone else my age had it figured out. Now I know it’s just a case-by-case basis. Some have it figured out, some don't, and some are only pretending they do,” admitted one man.

“For every 26-year-old with a budding career, there are probably a few more stuck bartending or making coffee,” added another.

Many men revealed what they’d learned that had helped them get ahead in their careers though:

“Trying five per cent harder than your co-workers and being charismatic can be a nonstop train to success,” said one.

Another stressed how important it is to construct a positive professional image when you’re young: “A reputation is easy to build, but hard to change or erase, which is why making a good impression from the start is very important.”

Some men revealed they wished they’d put more effort into exercise, healthy eating and looking after their bodies in their 20s, and to enjoy the fact that “this is the decade where your body is in the best shape it will ever be.”

One man included that message in his three lessons, which particularly struck a chord in the thread:

1. “No one cares about you” - not in a mean way, but rather in the sense that you shouldn’t worry what others think because everyone’s concerned with their own lives. “Do your thing, the way you want to, and I promise you no one will judge,” he said.
2. “If you want to do something then just do it.” Living with regret is not fun and your 20s are a good time to take risks because you don’t have as many responsibilities as you likely will later in life. 
3. “Get in the habit of being healthy and exercising." Future you will thank you for it.

A lot of men agreed with all three lessons, and one added that it’s OK to fail at things in your 20s - you’re actually expected to.

“You're not forgiven as easily for blunders and failures in your 30s and beyond,” he said. “F*** up now and learn how the world works and you'll be a much better adjusted adult than most.”

And perhaps the most important thing we all need to learn sooner rather than later in our lives is that nobody’s perfect and that’s OK: “You have to accept that you have flaws. That doesn't mean you don't do anything about them.”