Father with postnatal depression pens a heartbreaking letter to his baby daughter

He admits there were times he hated her

Chelsea Ritschel
Thursday 19 April 2018 21:17 BST
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Father pens heartbreaking letter to his baby daughter about postnatal depression (Stock)
Father pens heartbreaking letter to his baby daughter about postnatal depression (Stock)

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A dad who suffered from postnatal depression after his baby daughter was born has written her an emotional letter explaining why he “hated” her.

Describing the letter as a “hard letter to write, but probably a harder one to read,” Ross Hunt explains to his daughter Isabelle why he didn’t like her for the first few weeks after she was born - and at times regretted having her.

Hunt goes on to explain to his daughter, who is now 11 months old, that there is something inside her daddy called depression - and that none of his feelings are her fault.

Although Isabelle cannot read yet, Hunt wrote the letter as a way of approaching the topic in the future when she is older.

He wrote: “But you have to know this: those feelings are never me.”

Referring to his depression, Hunt explains to his daughter that “it’s been there a long time, and is probably always going to be there in some form. But I never thought it would try to tell me that I didn’t like you.”

Rather, Hunt put his best efforts into taking care of infant Isabelle - changing her nappies and dressing her, but his depression got the best of him.

“You were an amazing baby,” Hunt writes, but “my depression didn’t care how good or bad you were, it was just telling me not to love you, and to get away.”

Despite the battle inside him, Hunt didn’t listen - and focused instead on the love he knew was deep down, and the support from Isabelle’s mum.

Hunt also expressed his hopes for their future relationship, including hopes that they have an amazing relationship and that they love each other very much.

Concluding his heartbreaking letter, Hunt explains to Isabelle that he wanted to write her a letter because he knew she would have questions and he always wants to be someone she can talk to.

Elsewhere on his blog, Hunt shares his personal experience with postnatal depression - something he “didn’t even think about” before his daughter was born.

According to the NHS, postnatal depression is a common problem that affects more than one in every 10 women. It can also affect fathers but it is less common.

Fortunately, with the right support, most parents can make a full recovery.

You can read Ross Hunt's entire letter here.

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