Nearly third of British fathers wish they hadn’t been in room for the birth of their firstborn, finds study

'When it comes to the birthing suite it is understandable that some partners might feel out of their depth'

Forty-eight per cent of men felt they were constantly doing things wrong (iStock/Getty)

Three in 10 British fathers wish they had not been in the room at the birth of their firstborn, a survey found.

More than half of fathers said they wanted to provide support to their partner – but 47 per cent were not at all prepared for their role in the delivery suite.

Only one in 10 fathers felt they were being useful while their partner was in labour – with the rest describing feeling like a "spare part", "useless", "nervous" and "overwhelmed".

Forty-eight per cent of men felt they were constantly doing things wrong during the labour process, such as stroking their partner’s back when they did not want to be touched.

As such, some fathers admitted to passing the time by having a turn on the gas and air, taking selfies and drawing pictures.

O)ne of the nation’s top midwives has developed a guide advising birthing partners what to do in the delivery unit, to support Pampers’ #ThankYouMidwife campaign, which has started up again this International Day of the Midwife.

Senior midwifery practitioner, Michelle Comrie, who compiled the list, said: “I sympathise with well-meaning fathers at such a stressful time in their lives where they have little control.

‘’Some of the most amusing things I have seen fathers do include being fast asleep on the reclining chair during the course of their partners’ labour, passing out where they are so nervous and occasionally I have seen a few turn green.

‘’I have also come back into a room to see a father dressed up in an apron and gloves, having taken a selfie of himself and his wife to post on social media.”

The study also revealed 21 per cent could not help but make inappropriate jokes, while one fifth played with medical equipment or unintentionally got in the midwife’s way.

Going on social media and watching box sets are other ways men kept themselves and their partners entertained during the labour.

Despite this, 34 per cent of men admitted that at some points, they cried.

Researchers also found one third of mothers-to-be were worried about their other half while they were in labour – with concerns around how he was coping, whether he was bored and wanting him to be included.

This International Day of the Midwife, the nation is being asked to say #ThankYouMidwife.

For every thank you shared Pampers will still donate £1 to the Benevolent Fund of the Royal College of Midwives (RCM) to support midwives in need.

One #ThankYouMidwife post = £1 donation. Or you can purchase one of the specially created Thank You Midwife cards via Moonpig for your own midwife and £1 from the sale of every purchase will be donated to the RCM.

Top tips for birthing partners – according to Michelle Comrie, senior midwifery practitioner

“Put your partner’s needs first and be sensitive to what they want. One woman may need their partner to have a laugh whilst for another this could be frustrating. I think the father should be guided by their partner and their midwife.

“Try to be supportive, even if you are feeling tired; your partner is probably feeling a million times worse.

“Give praise and offer love and reassurance in the form of words, offering drinks, a cool flannel, a fan or massage (if your partner needs or wants to be touched).

“Do anything that you can do and your partner asks for.

“Look after yourself as well; take time out for fresh air if you feel emotional or light headed. I always encourage expectant father to eat and drink and to have a snack bag.

“Bring something for those moments when your partner may be asleep and there is nothing you can do except to be there. My recommendation would be to bring a book, newspaper, crossword, music or an iPad

“And don’t order a takeaway to be delivered to the hospital if your partner can’t or isn’t able to eat.”

Top 20 things men do in the birthing suite:

1. Cry
2. Ask doctors and nurses what different medical items are
3. Fall asleep
4. Sneak out for some food
5. Go on social media
6. Ask for a turn on the gas and air
7. Get in a doctor’s/ midwife’s way
8. Ask medical staff stupid questions
9. Take photos of their partner during labour
10. Play with a piece of medical equipment
11. Make an inappropriate joke
12. Take a selfie
13. Say “that looks easy” to their partner
14. Plugged their headphones in
15. Blow up rubber gloves
16. Watch a box set
17. Draw a picture
18. Give doctors and nurses advice
19. Complain about being bored
20. Celebrate a goal in a football match

SWNS