What it’s really like to be childless and a middle-aged woman

Living the dream or lonely?

Surely you can’t hit 45, not have kids and be happy? (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

If you’ve hit middle-age without having any children or having a long-term partner, chances are you’ve been grilled about your lifestyle.

Whether it’s by choice or not, it’s a situation that many in our society regard as a problem.

Surely you can’t hit 45, not have kids and be happy?

Taking to Mumsnet, one woman was keen to share the realities of what it’s like to be a middle-aged woman who hasn’t had kids.

But for her, the fear and inevitability of loneliness was setting in.

“Women who are single and have no children, post 45? This is what I'm facing so I'm not being nasty. I'm just wondering if loneliness is inevitable, any advice?”

While some felt the same, others sought to give the woman a heavy dose of reassurance.

“I am nearly there and couldn't be happier! Lonely? Nope. Never been lonely” one user wrote.

“I agree. I'm pretty much living the dream,” another added.

Heck, even married women with children were chipping in to give her a boost.

“45 with two kids here and I read your post and thought – freedom,” someone declared.

Another agreed adding, “All my older childless friends are having the time of their lives! They have disposable income, travel, study and they all look 100 years younger than me.”

These women, the ones with husbands and kiddies in tow, wanted her to know that while marriage and children come with their virtues, they aren’t an automatic ticket to happiness.

“You only have to read the relationship boards on here to see many reasons why being single can be better than being in an unhappy relationship,” one woman said.

“Do not look at having kids and a relationship through rose tinted glasses. Which is easy to do,” another agreed.

So, what’s a girl to do? Single, child-free and stuck in a rut, women came in their droves to offer advice.

“Be brave. Shake things up a bit,” someone said.

Another added, “ Having good friends and lots of interests is key and it is very, very possible to live a happy and fulfilling life.”

But perhaps the most encouraging comment came from a woman in her fifties, “What you have is the freedom to choose how you lead your life and that is immense.

“You can live wherever you like, change jobs and spend your spare time how you like.

“And you are never too old to learn new skills – I myself am in my fifties and have just started part time accountancy training.”