“Running is my therapy. It improves my confidence and makes me feel better about myself”

When a new business venture triggered stress, anxiety and depression - running and opening up about his problems helped Sha recover

Sha is sharing his story in the hope that it will help others who are experiencing poor mental health (Buxton)

In 2023, Buxton is proud to partner with Mind to support the sweat and tears of 15 Rise Up Runners. 15 real people, each facing their own physical and mental struggles, who are bravely taking on the ultimate test of resilience: The London Marathon. Their road to the race will be part of Buxton and Mind’s wider mission to promote better physical and mental wellbeing across the nation, through exercise and hydration.

For Sha, unlearning childhood behaviours and finding community has led him to the resilient place he’s in today, as he seeks to help others with their own mental health journeys.

Why are you running the London marathon?

I turn 50 this year, just two weeks before the marathon, and I think it would be an amazing thing for me to do when I’m 50. Also, I suffered with mental health issues  from 2016 to 2018, so I want to be a part of this campaign to help make a difference in other people’s lives by sharing my story.

What has shaped your mental health journey?

When I was 10 years old my dad had some mental health issues and he got sectioned for a few months.  My parents emigrated from Pakistan in the 60s, and coming from an Asian background, I was told not to share this for fear of being treated differently or being embarrassed in the local community or within the family. This experience basically made me internalise any difficulties or problems I had from a young age. It affected my relationships with friends, family, authority figures, work colleagues, managers, girlfriends. However, after my mental health difficulties, once I realised what had been going on in my life, I felt like I’d broken free from these chains.

What has your mental health journey looked like?

In 1999 I started a career in digital marketing at the beginning of the dot com era. There was a lot of money being thrown around. I was working for a media agency and there were a lot of parties, drinking and unhealthy living. For five or six years I lived that life and then it dawned on me that I couldn’t continue this unhealthy lifestyle. My friend said to me ‘Let’s start running.’

By 2015 I felt the fittest and strongest that I’ve ever felt and I really wanted to share what I’d learned. I took a year off work to look into wellbeing in the workplace and in 2016 I launched my company:The Wellness Movement. However, it was a big gamble and unfortunately things started to unravel as I started to realise how difficult it is to go into a new sector without any experience or credentials or contacts. I began to suffer from anxiety and stress and I’d sit in front of the laptop and freeze. I started to get paranoid and I’d wile away the hours in bed all day. This went on for two years. I’d heard people talk about having dark clouds and I never knew what that meant until it happened to me. I had dark thoughts in my head and I didn’t feel like myself.

What led you out of the dark moments?

One day I had a meeting with a breathing coach and he asked me a very simple question. He asked me what the word happiness means to me. And it was in that moment that the penny dropped and I was like ‘I can’t answer that question. I’m not happy.’ That was the catalyst for me. I sat on the train on the way home and started crying but it was like a cry of relief. I knew something was wrong. I went to see my mum and I told her. At first she had a go at me but then she hugged me and apologised. In our family no one ever shares their problems – it’s always about putting on a brave face. That’s just how it was. But I felt a big relief when I shared with my mum and the dark clouds started to separate and the sunshine started to come back into my life slowly.

How important is communication for your mental health?

It’s so important to reflect on how you’re feeling and to talk about it. I think now the new generation are much more open to things like therapy. People are a lot more vocal about how they feel whereas my generation didn’t share anything because there was a massive stigma. I was part of a running community so I went and spoke to a few friends about what I’d been going through, and the more I spoke about it the better I felt. I started feeling like myself again.

Do you believe community is helpful in terms of mental wellbeing?

100 per cent. A community is a place where you feel you can be your authentic self without fear of judgement of criticism. A place where everyone is treated the same regardless of background, sexuality, race, age, anything. A place where you feel confident and where you can support others as well as people supporting you. Having that helps us feel like we belong to something that’s bigger than ourselves. The safer the place you feel you’re in, the more you can be yourself.

What did running do for you?

Running was my salvation. When I started struggling with my mental health, running became massive. It became an escape for me. It gave me so much and it still does to this day. That’s why I created Be More You – I wanted to give back and make a difference to runners’ lives. For me, running definitely improves my confidence and makes me feel better about myself. It really supports my mental health. It’s my therapy.

What advice would you give to others struggling with dark periods of mental health?

You are allowed to ask for help. It’s not something you have to struggle with yourself. And there is lots of help out there. By sharing how you’re feeling, you can release yourself from the prison of your own mind.

If you’ve been affected by any issues raised in this article, visit mind.org.uk for information and support

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