Woman questions if she’s in the wrong for stopping ‘selfish’ cousin from proposing

‘It sounds like you handled it pretty well!’ one Reddit user tells bride

A bride has been applauded for standing her ground on her wedding day.

In a post shared to Reddit in August, the 27-year-old woman, who goes by the username u/Goddessbadguy, asked if she was in the wrong for stopping her cousin’s proposal at her wedding. After noting that she married the “love of her life”, a 30-year-old man named Jacob, she described how her 34-year-old cousin, Patrick, has been “immature, selfish, and rude” for as long as she could remember.

“He has never failed to make birthday parties (not his own), holidays, and other occasions all about him,” she wrote. “The adults in the family have always shown him favouritism, and this has over time spoiled and enabled him.”

She then revealed that a week before her wedding, her cousin called her and said that he planned to propose to his longtime girlfriend at the nuptials. According to the Reddit user, her cousin just “stated” that he was going to propose at the wedding like she “had no choice in the matter”.

Although she said that she was “infuriated” by her cousin’s remark, she “calmly told him not to go through with” the proposal, which he wasn’t pleased about.

“I said that I did not want attention to be deviated away from me and my husband on our special day,” she continued. “This did not go over well, and soon after he began yelling at me. He even went as far as calling me a selfish b***h and then hung up on me. Later that day, I received multiple angry phone calls from our parents, saying that I was being selfish and unreasonable.”

She added: “I explained to them that at the end of the day, it was MY wedding day, and that it was my decision if I wanted the proposal to take place. This angered many, with some family members going as far as deciding not to attend.”

Following the argument, she said that she assumed Patrick was going to skip the wedding, but he later ended up texting her saying that he was attending. With that in mind, the woman added that she “knew that he was going to go against [her] wishes and carry on with the proposal since, in the past, he’s caused a lot of drama at other family functions”.

According to the Reddit user, she arranged a plan with the live band in order to stop Patrick from even attempting to propose to his partner at the wedding. “I even paid [the band] extra, with the request to start playing should Patrick ever try to make a speech,” she wrote. “I informed the other cousins about my plan, and they were all supportive since they knew Patrick’s antics all too well and were just as fed up with his ridiculous behaviour.”

She noted that once the wedding day arrived, Patrick was “acting very cordial for once,” but she “was not fooled” by his manner. According to the bride, once the best man and maid-of-honour speeches were done, she “noticed Patrick getting up from his seat and making his way toward the stage”. From there, she proceeded with her plan to stop his proposal.

“And just like that, the band started to play. I smiled, grabbed my husband, and rushed towards the dance floor. Everyone else joined in, and it looked as though Patrick’s actions went unnoticed,” she wrote. She also explained that after he “made three more attempts” to propose, which were shut down by the music, some of her cousins even blocked his path and said: “Just cut it out.”

She went on to claim that Patrick “looked more and more angry as the night progressed,” before he eventually grabbed his girlfriend’s hand and stormed out of the wedding. “As I watched him leave, I laughed out loud, and had a blast for the rest of the night with family and friends,” she added.

Posts from the redditonwiki
community on Reddit

The woman concluded her post by sharing her family’s reactions to Patrick’s experience at the wedding, before noting that she still continued on with her honeymoon.

“I woke up the next morning to more angry text messages and voicemails, which I ignored,” she wrote. “I decided to not engage in the drama, and just enjoyed my honeymoon with my husband.”

In a follow-up comment attached to the Reddit post, she added that ever since the wedding, she has had “no contact from both Patrick and family members” who agreed with him in the situation. “They can’t stand me now, and the voicemails I received from those selected few were hurtful to say the least,” she claimed.

As of 31 October, the post has more than 8,400 upvotes, with many people in the comments criticising Patrick’s behaviour during and after the wedding. They also praised the bride for how she handled her cousin’s attempts to propose and condemned her family for getting mad at her.

“He’s a spoiled brat!” one wrote. “Who would call a family and have them boycott your wedding because he wants to be allowed to propose! Good for you for not allowing it.”

“Your family got mad at you for not wanting someone to propose at your wedding? Seriously?” another added. “Anyway, it sounds like you handled it pretty well!”

A third agreed: “Not only were you justified, but you handled it in a hilariously clever way.”

The Independent has contacted u/Goddessbadguy for comment.

According to The Knot, someone else’s wedding is not the time to propose to your partner, since you don’t want to take away from the bride and groom’s special day.

“As a planner, I feel [a] wedding day should be just that, the celebration of the couple’s love. The wedding is a showcase for a couple’s love story," Lea Rhynehardt, owner and lead planner with Lea Rhynehardt & Co, told the publication. "This is a day we get to witness two people celebrating their journey of creating this union and deciding to be together for the rest of their lives. A wedding is a time for the newlyweds to be celebrated by family and friends."