Woman sparks debate after sharing reaction to boyfriend attending bachelorette party

‘The issue here isn’t the BFF, or the opposite sex thing, it’s that you’re not included in any get togethers,’ one reader responds on Reddit

A woman has sparked a debate after explaining why she got upset her boyfriend was going to a bachelorette party with all-female bridesmaids.

In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, the woman said that her boyfriend is going to be the only male on his friend’s bachelorette trip. She explained that her partner has a “female best friend,” who recently asked him to be her “man of honour” at her wedding.

After noting that the bride also has a “maid of honour”, the Reddit poster then acknowledged that she also has a male best friend.

“Both of us of are okay with having friends of the opposite sex,” she wrote about her partner. “But I don’t text my male friend daily and talk to him all day. We check in on occasion, hang out on occasion and I typically always try to include my boyfriend in the hang outs.”

However, she claimed that when her boyfriend “goes out to drink with his female friends,” he “never invites” her. She then described the bachelorette party that her boyfriend was invited to and why she wasn’t happy about him going.

“Now, he’s invited on a bachelorette trip. A weekend get away with a house full of females and drinking. This makes me extremely uncomfortable and I’ve mentioned that,” she continued.

She then shared more details about her boyfriend and the bride’s previous history, adding: “Not to mention, I’ve never ever had any romantic feelings towards my male friend. He admitted to having feelings for his friend in the past.”

Boyfriend is going on a bachelorette trip with all females
byu/MainLime113 inAITAH

The woman concluded the post by claiming that her boyfriend doesn’t necessarily feel like it’s a bad thing if he goes to the bachelorette party.

“He brushes it off and acts like I’m overreacting,” she wrote. “If I went on a bachelor trip with a bunch of guys for a weekend, pretty sure he wouldn’t be cool with it at all.”

The Reddit post has quickly gone viral, with more than 14,000 upvotes as of 3 April. In response to the post, multiple people agreed that they’d have an issue with their male partner going on a trip with all women. They also criticised the Reddit user’s boyfriend for ignoring her concerns about the bachelorette party.

“Going on a trip with several women whom you’re not related to while in a relationship is your (very reasonable) boundary,” one wrote. “If he can’t respect that then you two are incompatible. Based on some of the other facts you’ve shared above, it seems you’re uncomfortable with a lot of his other actions and behaviours. To be frank, I would be, too. Why continue to subject yourself to that?”

“This is totally disrespectful to you and by all appearances he doesn’t care that you are hurt. You aren’t allowed to hang out with him and these women, there is a reason(s) for it. Why are you wasting your energy on someone who doesn’t give a shit about your feelings?” another added.

“Been married 45 years and whenever my wife conveyed to me if she was uncomfortable about something I wanted to do, I didn’t do it. She’s my top priority and I have never put her in that situation,” a third wrote. “What your bf is doing/asking is totally unreasonable and if he can’t see that, then he really is not your bf.”

However, other people expressed that in their opinion, it didn’t seem like an issue that a man was going on a trip with people of the opposite sex. However, they did think that it was strange that the Reddit user hadn’t been invited to hang out with her boyfriend’s female friends.

“Guy here, my best friend was a girl (passed away), and I was the Man of Honour at her wedding,” one wrote. “The issue here isn’t the BFF, or the opposite sex thing, it’s that you’re not included in any get togethers. That’s the sketch part for me. My BFF was the planner of our group, and anyone I was dating was always welcome. Even if they didn’t feel like going, the invite was there.”

Another agreed: “I think the bigger issue is that he doesn’t involve you with his friends. Not sure how long you’ve been together, but that would hurt me the most out of everything. It would be easier to trust him if he involved you with his friends and saw how he interacted.”