Fellow boomers, there’s an easier way to keep up with the trends of 2020 – and this is how

I’ve compiled a random list of catchphrases and buzzwords that we can confidently drop into the new year conversation and sound cool, without millennial condescension

Having spent Christmas in the company of young people, some of whom were actually under 30, I am going to have to face up to the fact that I am an old fart. A proper old fart.

I drink alcohol, milk from an actual cow and my bread is packed full of old-fashioned gluten, which makes my tummy swell up. I used to think this meant I was full from eating lots of yummy bread but now I’m wondering whether I too am allergic to the stuff; why else is my tummy so fat?

I’m confused. I was also confused over the fuss about the “Fairytale of New York” lyrics as sung by Ness and Uncle Bryn, but then I was also confused by why so many people were watching Gavin and Stacey on Christmas Day.