‘Is it still too much to wish for a scotch egg in a pub garden by Easter?’

It’s hard for Trudy to concentrate on work while waiting for the roadmap out of lockdown. Well, that and all the building work going on nearby. By Christine Manby

(Tom Ford)

There is a special place in hell for people who decide to build an extension during lockdown, as the people who live in the house that backs onto mine have decided to do. Brenda from number 18, who knows everything that happens in this postcode, says the work is expected to take three months. Three months in builder years, as everybody knows, will be at least six. In the meantime, I have taken possession of my first pair of ear defenders.

When the work started last Friday morning, I thought I could cope with my usual earphones. But no. Not even blasting Sheridan Smith’s A Northern Soul at top volume could drown out the whine of the drill, so I ordered a pair of state-of-the-art 3M ear defenders from the local builders’ merchant. They arrived in a box big enough for all the materials needed to build a three-bedroom semi. They cut out both the sound of the building work itself and the singing of the builders, which is arguably worse than the noise of any angle grinder. The builders are, of course, death metal fans and have clearly ruined their own hearing by failing to wear ear-defenders of their own so they think they have to shout to be heard even when they’re not social distancing.

They started early this morning. I put on my ear defenders to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As I stood at the sink, I realised when I adjusted the defenders to fit more comfortably (I think I might have to buy a matching hard hat to support their weight), that the builders had actually stopped drilling. I can’t help thinking there’s malice in the way they time their day. Heavy machinery between 7.45 and 8.15. Quiet time, 8.15 to 14.00. Heavy machinery, 14.00 to 16.00 hours, which is, of course, when I make most of my work calls.