Help! What to do when people ignore a ‘no presents’ rule at Christmas?

As a family, we have agreed this year that we’re not ‘doing’ presents. But there’s always one who can’t resist, writes Rupert Hawksley

‘But I thought we weren’t doing presents this year?’ (PA Archive)

I need some advice. We are going away as a family for Christmas this year – not abroad or anything; down to Cornwall – and everyone has agreed that we won’t “do” presents. We are splitting the cost of the holiday and, as my mother likes to point out on the WhatsApp group, “just being together is enough”. She’s right, of course, but experience tells me she doesn’t really believe it. I know exactly what is about to happen. Powerless to stop it.

Certain people – myself; my father – will have diligently followed the rules. We will have read the WhatsApp missive about no presents and thought, “Right, that means no presents.” Other people – mother, sister, elder sister – will not have followed the rules. These people, I have found, tend to interpret “no presents” as “lots of presents”, to be delivered with love on Christmas morning, accompanied by the words, “honestly, it’s nothing, just a token”. Very nice for the present givers, who get to feel all warm (smug?) inside. Less so for those of us who followed the rules (have I mentioned them?) and now feel foolish and ungenerous.

I have nothing against buying and giving presents; nor do I really mind if we don’t “do” them. But I do take umbrage with some people’s cavalier attitude to the rules. It’s cheating. So what to do?