Rent a Cop, TV review: BBC3 has discovered a treasure trove of material at Sparta Security

Apparently everyone in Darlington knows the chap who runs Sparta, and he is not treated with universal respect

Sid the Sexist-style management: Francis with 'tidy blondes' Rachel and Claire (BBC)

I strongly recommend you catch up with the world of Rent a Cop. This is the sort of "observational" gold that channel controllers must dream about detecting under the surface of unpromising televisual mud. And, here in Darlington, at Sparta Security, the BBC3 producers have discovered a vast treasure trove of material.

Apparently everyone in Darlington, including the local tearaways, knows the chap who runs Sparta, "well-known local character" Francis Jones, and he is not treated with universal respect, as we watch him hopelessly chasing yobs on mopeds. He is most at home dishing out Sid the Sexist-style management "wisdom" such as this: "I've two tidy blonde females rather than a big hairy-arsed man, and they're bringing in business left right and centre, and I've invested £3,000 in getting Rachel a pair of silicone breasts so Rachel can go to clients, meet new businessmen and sign contracts away."

We gather that Rachel is very happy with her free boob job; but, as I hope you'll see, Francis is much the biggest tit on television right now.