Poppy Folly: Your Stars: It Could Happen

Saturday 19 December 1998 00:02 GMT
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Well at least Flaubert was born this week, but it's not enough, and there's no use trying to pretend it is. Far too many jazz musicians, tennis players, Canadians and associated riff-raff were born this week, people like Christopher Plummer, and Don Johnson with his haircut and horrible shirts. That ridiculous Paracelsus was part of the line-up 500 years ago and what good has it done him? And who was that other one - Sir Humphry Davy? No, I'm thinking of Dionne Warwick. Oh, really!

And look: here we have astrological twins Woody Allen and Dick van Dyke who, as history is revealing, turn out not to have been funny at all; or at least only to have been as funny as each other (and people doubt the power of the planets!). The fact is that this quarter of Sagittarius is much more the sign of noisy deaf people (hello Beethoven), early dead people (goodbye Jane Austen) and people who really haven't deserved to live so long (Keith Richards and Tommy Steele).

There really are some dreadful honkers in this week's bin. There's George VI, who brought the monarchy into disrepute by being a complete nonentity, and Nero, who did the opposite. There's Margaret Mead, who came of age in Samoa with the help of Samoan boys who were (unwillingly) simultaneously coming of age themselves. There's Willy "the Fridge" Perry, the linebacker, along with Noel "Red Rum" Coward, both of whom sung the Hallelujah Chorus about as well as each other, but under very different circumstances.

And look, here's Frank Sinatra who couldn't sing at all, and Laurens van der Post who never even tried, except when the Hottentots mischievously formed a southern-hemisphere chapter of the Tiller Girls (which never really worked, for reasons we needn't go into).

Finally there is Prince Karim Aga Khan IV, about whom no jokes can be made at all. Quite right too, I say!

THE ESSENCE of desire is ambition. What you want is more. This week you can do better than you deserve. Unearned credit is so much sweeter than what you've had to fight for (even for you, who enjoy fighting). Uncritical admiration is not something you've ever really experienced so beware of paranoia. And remember, praise may not be flattery, it may (incredibly, perhaps) be the truth. You are so hot, they're waking up with tans in Japan.

INTRUSIVE THERAPY has its dangers, especially when you trust too much. Are your counsellors giving you the right steer? There are a lot of small-time megalomaniacs in the business of providing mental health. Dangerous as your friends are, they're better than this. The answers, of course, lie within, and the only way of finding them is by correct questioning - of yourself. You are cleverer than usual this week - make the most of it.

IT IS just as well you have more than one personality - you can slip into something more comfortable when you've used up the responsible ones. Try the homely one, the relaxed, let-it-go one. Guilt isn't helping. Grief is good, tragedy is cathartic, but embarking on this guilt- trip is debilitating because you are not allowing it to change your behaviour. The essence of repentance is to do something very different from what you are currently doing.

CHILDREN MAY be subject to convulsive expressions of emotion. Adults may have tantrums. The intensity of feelings is matched by the fragility of your control systems. If the goodness of your heart keeps you on a right path, you will achieve important things. Subtle pleasures add more enduring character than the shagpile ones. You may surprise yourself with a talent for loyalty (guilt has its uses), but there's still a longing for wider horizons and gleaming erotic encounters

IF WE knew all the ways of the heart we would probably never go out. Ignorance can take the place of courage for those who want to go further than they really should. But there is something out there waiting for you, and it means more than you might want it to. However, anger must be processed or it turns sour. This doesn't necessarily mean damaging those who have provoked you. But expressing yourself, the way you can, will remodel your soul.

WHAT'S LOVE got to do with it? If you want to know, call your lawyer - she'll tell you what it adds to the settlement. Maybe you are suffering from a personality eruption, perhaps it's a fear of poverty, but you must have proof that you're not alone in an expanding universe that's running out of hair product. And integrity, while important, is no excuse for those shoes poor people wear. You'll put emotions to one side and make out like bandits

BE MORE stable. Just because things are boring doesn't mean that you'll be better off somewhere else. The weather may change but it will still be you complaining about it. The way to cope with boredom is attack, not retreat; work, not alcohol; money, not love. Admittedly, the weather doesn't help, but it is no better when you look inwards. You can be cold (you may be better cold, then you won't drag credulous admirers down with you).

A POWERFUL aspect gives you unusual quantities of energy, willpower and courage (keep away from me). A restlessness will cause you to look beyond your physical limitations. Evolved Scorpios (both of you) will achieve some mystical union with the world and this will last until you try and make use of it. You may need some exercise (firing subordinates does not count). You will achieve more by doing less, and get paid the same for it.

FEELING VAGUER than usual? Stray thoughts distract you from your greater purpose, but there is a reward if you can concentrate. Personal relationships point to something larger and more mysterious than they obviously are. But you'll have to get there somehow - probably by yourself, as your mother told you. The number of shopping days to Christmas fails to daunt you. You have reserves of character unavailable to the rest of us.

EVERYTHING IS getting closer to being over. Well, surely, that's good, as you've been paying for it all. But it isn't clear, even then, that you will get the appreciation you deserve. There will be those who can't keep up, or even stand up, and will want to blame you for this. It is incomprehensible, not because you're stupid but because they are better at administering guilt. Your longing for companionship is more important to you than to your companions

YOU ARE more than usually true to your sign. This isn't necessarily a good thing, considering the sign you are. Your originality will disrupt those around you - for their own good, but they won't thank you for it (but they will admire you for it and that's good enough). You will inspire people (they hate that), you will lead them, you will embark on adventures and take along more people than you can carry - this will store up trouble for later.

JUST WHEN you thought you had reached your threshold, you find you can do yet more - and frankly that's just as well because really you were only sulking. Just because love is not the solution doesn't necessarily mean it is a problem. Of course it is important, but take it easy, you're not so young and foolish any more that you can get away with it. The answers are trying to get through... OK, now concentrate and everything will become clear.

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