INHEAVEN bassist Chloe Little on being diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes

INHEAVEN bassist and singer Chloe Little was recently told she has Type 1 diabetes - here she writes about how she has dealt with the news as the band prepares to release their debut album

Chloe Little (Niall Lea)

For those of you unaware what ‘Facebook Live’ is, it’s a live broadcast where your followers can ask you questions and see you answer them in real time.

This is what I did last week with INHEAVEN - we did our first Facebook Live for our fans to ask us questions about our debut album, which comes out in just a few weeks. But during the 15 minute session, where most people were asking about our favourite songs on the record and what hair products we use, I think I was ‘trolled’.

Someone asked me ‘do you like diabetes?’, which seems a really weird question to ask a band - however when you’ve just been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and only your family and doctor know about your condition it is quite a scary position to be in, live on air to 1000 people you don’t know.

How does this person know this about me? Why are other people ‘liking’ their question? Are they laughing at me because I have a disease? How the hell do they know? Can they see my internet search history? Or is it just a freak coincidence? I’ll never know.

It just felt like an absolute violation of my privacy, something I couldn’t get back. I had wanted to live with my new life changing condition for a while before I even told close friends, however now I feel like I’ve got to be open and tell the story. But who knows, it may have just been a coincidence and a ‘sign’ to push me into facing my new reality in a public forum.

Three weeks ago I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. I had noticed a few weeks earlier that I had lost about 14lbs over a few months, which for someone who is already relatively small is quite a significant amount. I was convinced that due to NHS cuts the contraceptive pill my body was used to had to be changed to a significantly cheaper one, and that this was the reason for my symptoms. However after a quick blood test I got a call from my doctor with no bedside manner and straight to the point, ‘Chloe, you have diabetes’.

How does this happen to someone in their mid-20s who has never eaten meat, exercises and lives a healthy lifestyle? Our first album is about to come out, something I’ve been dreaming of since I was 13 years old, and now I can’t even enjoy it because I’ve been dealt this unfortunate hand.

These were my initial thoughts, but then I realised quite quickly that I have to get on with this, look this disease straight in the face and be brave. I’m not going to let it change my life, I’m still going to continue what I’m doing and get to where I want to be. I have to, not just for me but for every other young girl or boy who has to live with this condition. Being strong is something us girls in bands are good at.

Most people don’t really know what Type 1 diabetes is, they think eating too much sugar gives you diabetes, but this couldn't be further from the truth. The majority of people get diagnosed with type 1 as a child, and my chances of getting Type 1 as someone with no family history of the condition was 0.5%.

Yet for some reason I developed it, and whilst the doctors will never know for sure why it developed and how long I’ve had it for, they think it was around the end of 2016 when I had a virus and my immune system went into overdrive.

The immune system attacks the pancreas rather than the virus and leaves the organ damaged and unable to produce any insulin. The insulin your pancreas produces is what breaks down the carbohydrates we eat and allows them to be used for energy - when your body can’t process any foods you are eating it starts burning through muscle and fat, which is why I was losing so much weight.

My first thought was I’d played the John Peel Stage at Glastonbury Festival with dangerously high acid levels in my blood, I was actually very ill yet I had no idea. It’s a scary thought imagining if anything had gone wrong that weekend.

Now I have to inject myself with insulin 4 times a day which acts as my pancreas used to. I have to know exactly how many carbohydrates are in everything I eat so I can then work out how much insulin I need to give myself. It sounds like a chore, but if it keeps me alive then I have no option but to try and be positive about it. I could be dead and that would be much worse than a few needles in the thigh each day.

I feel so grateful for the incredible NHS who got me diagnosed and on insulin treatment within 48 hours of my routine blood test. They will now supply me with tens of thousands of pounds worth of needles, insulin, glucose testing equipment for the rest of my life, and will never ask for a penny. Never forget how fortunate we are in this country to have such an amazing service, we must respect it.

So this is my story so far. I have type 1 diabetes, and I’m learning to be in a band and tour with the condition. Our album is going to come out, and it’s going to get the reaction it deserves. I’m going to get up every day and still be the bass player from INHEAVEN.

I’m still going to create, be passionate about politics, write, perform and be the only version of myself I know how to be. But I need to remember, I’m not the only one. There are 400,000 people with Type 1 in the UK and whilst I’m still coming to terms with it myself, I want to feel I can be open about it and not think I’ve got to hide in a festival toilet injecting myself like I’m ashamed.

So if you see me in the catering tent at festivals, at a venue, on the street and I'm shooting up, now you know why.

INHEAVEN's self-titled debut album is out on 1 September - pre-order now. Catch them live at Reading Festival on Saturday 26 August.