Snooker player turned 'avant progressive' DJ Steve Davis talks playing Glastonbury, Brexit and techno house as entrance music

A master of the tables, both snooker and turn.

Hi, Steve. You’re DJing at Glastonbury. Er, what’s next? The Arctic Monkeys opening at The Crucible?

I suppose festivals get through loads of DJs. They eat DJs up and spit them out. Anything that’s a bit of novelty is good, so long as it’s credible. I’ve done a local community radio show for ten years (1), so I’ve got a bit of backup.

Aren’t you worried people might turn up expecting you to be playing snooker rather than music?

There’s a misconception that I’ve become a techno DJ overnight. It’s laughable. I couldn’t beatmatch if all I had to do was press a button. I DJed at Bloc Weekender [in Minehead] earlier in the year, which got me a hell of a lot of publicity thanks to a show on BBC iPlayer called Snooker Star DJ. So, I’m striking whilst the iron is hot. But to make it clear, if anyone comes to our set at Glastonbury, it’s not techno.

What are you playing then?

Rocking Opposition and Avant Progressive (2). But that doesn’t really give you any clues unless you know what those are.

Do your trick shots on the table match your trick shots on the turntables?

No. If we play a record, we play it all the way to the end. We’re not mixing it in any way or shape or form or back spinning it or anything like that.

Er, isn’t that the whole point of being a DJ? Else you’re just a man standing in a field playing records?

That’s exactly what we are. People listen to DJs who are brilliant at beatmatching and think it’s all one record. So we’re going to play a record and have at least two seconds of silence before we then play the next record. We’re retro.

How far down the list of festival essentials of tent, sleeping bag, food, booze, spare pair of underpants etc does packing a full-size snooker table come?

Obviously, I’m not staying in a muddy field. I’ve got a yurt. So I’ve got enough room for a table. I’m not sure I can get a fold-up one in the back of my car…

The Rolling Stones take a snooker table when they go on tour… can’t you?

Well, I might bring a pool table.

Rock stars want to be actors. Actors want to be rock stars. Are all snooker players wannabe DJs?

People do like to move in other circles. I don’t know any other snooker players who are really into music. As far as I know, there’s no crossover between music and snooker. When Snooker Loopy got to number seven in the charts [in 1986], that was the end of music and snooker as a credible force.

The latest version of Drag Racer by The Doug Wood Band aka The Snooker Music is pretty techno (3). Should more of the BBC snooker coverage resemble a rave?

Yes. Some of the garbage that the players walk out to is embarrassing. John Parrot walks out to Agadoo. I once walked out to the soundtrack to Nosferatu by French Belgium band Art Zoyd, the bit where the vampire comes in through the window with a young vulnerable girl. They refused to play it next time. Stephen Hendry was desperate to walk out to Heaven Know I’m Miserable Now by The Smiths but they wouldn’t let him, because it wasn’t happy enough (4). I’d have the players walk out to something from the big Berlin techno houses.

Players complained that the pockets were bigger than normal at the 2016 World Championships. Or are snooker players just getting smaller?

There is the possibility that snooker players are starting to shrink. Maybe they went through that mist on the boast in The Incredible Shrinking Man? I think it’s perception (5). There’s a move to make the game metric. Balls are 2 1/16th inches and the tables are twelve feet by six. We don’t want to get any further into Europe because the balls will go into millimetres and nobody will know what the sizes are. If it goes metric, we’re kaput.

Is snooker the biggest reason to keep out of Europe?

Yes. Snooker is the biggest reason to keep out of Europe. The only thing that’s currently in Europe is the tip size. The cues are four foot ten, but the tips are either 9 or 10 mm. God knows why the tips are European but the rest of the cue is British.

Which three snooker players would you most like to be zipped into your yurt with during torrential rain at Glastonbury?

Steven Hendry, because he makes anybody feel happier, just by looking at him. Nothing can be as bad as how glum he looks. Mark Williams comes from the Welsh Valleys, so he’s probably used to a bit of mud when he’s chasing around for the sheep. And Dennis Taylor. If the weather’s bad, you need someone to make a joke. And Dennis has a joke on the hour every hour. Everyone likes a joke. But don’t use the pun “cuing up”… it’s so boring. If anyone uses that pun, I’ll refuse to go on stage.

Well, that’s my last question out of the window.

Steve is DJing at Glastonbury with Kavus Torabi on Thursday 23rd June in the Stonebridge Tent at 3pm

Footnotes

1) Steve co-hosts the Interesting Alternative Show on Brentwood’s Phoenix FM.

2) No idea.

3) The latest version of the 1976 original was remixed in 2016.

4) Was track 11 of Morrissey’s 2014 solo album World Peace Is None Of Your Business, Mountjoy, an ode to retired Welsh Snooker player Doug Mountjoy?

5) Tournament organisers denied that pockets were bigger in the 2016 World Championship. Therefore, the players must be getting smaller.