Stay up to date with notifications from The Independent

Notifications can be managed in browser preferences.

The Poetry Audit

Martin Newell
Friday 27 November 1998 00:02 GMT
Comments

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

A chill wind of accountancy

Swept down through Academe

"Who is this Muse?" asked auditors.

"What does she charge per dream?

And how much do these poets cost

In real terms each year?"

"Dunno..." an old professor said.

"They've always just been here.

With it being Academe an' that

You take the thing for granted

Like certain types of greenhouse flowers

They won't take being transplanted."

"We see," the auditors replied.

"Well here's what we're advising.

A programme pruning out dead wood,

In other words, downsizing.

The poetry list's redundant now

A sunset situation.

We want the OUP to be

A streamlined operation.

De-cruit the muse. De-job the poets.

The firm is in a coma.

It's wake-up time and by the way...

Who's this slacker, Homer?"

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in