Why are they famous?; Anna Ford
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Appearance: Luxury-model, early- Seventies, brunette beauty queen. Doctor's love interest on watercolour- cover of People's Weekly. Model for middle-aged cashmere and tartan mail- order business based in Hastings. Princess Caroline meets Posh Spice. Jackie O meets Emma Peel.
Name Call: Anna, 54, has contaminated the nation's airwaves with a naughty word. There's been quite a kerfuffle. Have we such short memories? Anna Ford, if we crank our minds back to the birth of TV-am, was the one who upset a glass of wine over former boss Jonathan Aitken at a party and made every paper the next day. Last week she "swore" on air, describing Archers bad-boy Simon Pemberton as a "shit". Or, as the Mirror delicately reported it to its sensitive readers, a "s**t". No sooner had Anna enunciated the vulgarity in question than the lines were jammed with complaints. The foul-mouthed villainess later commented: "I realise this was an unfortunate slip of the tongue and not right for the Today programme." Clearly, Anna Ford, mother of one, is a feisty brunette with a future as a Spice Girl, and Britain is proud of her.
Past Perfect: Apart from her predilection for lobbing wine and using foul language, Ms Ford has apparently led a blameless life. She married Mark Boxer (cartoonist "Marc"), appeared happy, had one daughter, Clare, and seems to have been alone since his death. She does not pose for weekly magazines dedicated to the cult of celebrity. She does not take to the catwalk. She does not display her legs at the least encouragement and perform the soft-shoe-shuffle. She does not play Maid Marion in panto. She does not pen a useless column. She does not parade new boyfriends in her green-belt converted stable. She does not suddenly come on New Agey and spew nonsense to a glossy mag for a fee of pounds 75,000. Ms Ford has dignity.
Touch of Class: The Joanna Lumley of the newscasting world is known for her sexy froideur. While others (Sue Lawley; Angela Rippon) are simply chilly, Ms Ford suggests geysers beneath glaciers. That voice. That mouth. Such class. Such style. While Angela Rippon in her heyday was known for her shapely legs, her circumflexing eyebrows and her full-throttle pronunciation of silly foreign place names, Anna Ford just - was.
Fame Prospects: By saying "bottom" or "testicle" on Newsnight, Anna could vouchsafe further interest. She could date Jack Nicholson, design a range of jewellery, or slag off Anthea Turner to the tabloids. However, Anna is normally well behaved and orderly. Expect her next display of rad-chick attitude in about 2007.
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