From laughing together to feeling safe: People shared the best things about their relationships

People valued feeling safe and being able to laugh together far more than sex

Roisin O'Connor
Wednesday 03 February 2016 14:23 GMT
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People were asked what they prioritised or liked the most about their relationship
People were asked what they prioritised or liked the most about their relationship

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Hollywood romance can set its audience up with a lot of high expectations, but anyone who’s been in a relationship knows that they take a lot more work and commitment than your average Cinderella story.

A study of 5,000 people by Dr Meg John Barker and Professor Jacqui Gabb, published in the Daily Mail, asked what they prioritised or liked the most about their relationship, and came up with some surprising answers.

For instance, sex was nowhere to be found in the top 10: Partners valued laughing together, trust and feeling safe and secure far more than the physical aspect of a relationship.

The top 10 answers to the question "What do you like best about your relationship" were as follows:

  1. Laughing together
  2. Sharing values and interests
  3. Being best friends
  4. Being cared for and feeling supported
  5. Feeling safe and secure
  6. Being happy
  7. Trust
  8. Sharing a close relationship
  9. Talking and listening
  10. Being in love and/or being loved

Dr Barker and Professor Gabb cited the National Study of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles - a major survey conducted every 10 years in Britain – which found that the amount of sex people have per month has decreased over the past two decades.

Sex was not linked to dissatisfaction in the relationship, however, more that for many people it was not the most crucial aspect.

Failure in relationships is often blamed on a simple lack of communication. For instance, another recent study suggested that saying “thank you” could actually help save a marriage.

Study author Allen Barton said: “Even if a couple is experiencing distress and difficulty in other areas, gratitude in the relationship can help promote positive marital outcomes."

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