The old me would have been ‘woohoo it’s party time’ and I’d have been off on a year-long bender

When Charlotte Cripps gets a windfall after her great aunt dies, she thanks her lucky stars the cash didn’t arrive when she was in the depths of her addiction – she might never have made it out

The darkest hour is just before the dawn and this notion had never seemed truer. I had lost Alex to his business enterprise. Devastated, I consulted the psychic who continued to confirm we would be together. But when would I believe her? I was like a dog with a bone demanding proof. “Just drop it,” she said. “Just drooooooop it.” She was seriously irritated by my endless calls and endless doubts. It didn’t help that her Pomeranian fluff ball dog was constantly barking in the background. The psychic found the dog challenging too.

Then something happened. My great aunt died and some of the money that would have gone to my mum, who had died of cancer years ago, was coming to me. It wasn’t like winning the lottery but it was a once-in-a-lifetime windfall.

I sat down in shock. Thank God I didn’t get this cash while in the grip of addiction, otherwise it would have gone straight up my nose. The old me would have been “woohoo it’s party time” and I would have been off on a year-long bender. Not that my addiction was much fun; I mean, how can it be when all you think about is “finding ways and means to get more” as described in the NA Blue Book.